Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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