PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
