yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
