I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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