elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
