Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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