please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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