fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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