watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
