these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize