Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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