Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
