YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My balls are so social today.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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