ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
