Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
