How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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