So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
