you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
