Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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