she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
