you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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