Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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