Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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