i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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