It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
