i think i have herpe
just one?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
