Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
