I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
its not stalking. its research.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
