I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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