I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
