i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
