i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
