Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
