Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
