he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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