i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
