Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I want to fling myself into the sun
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
