It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
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