So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Found the puke drawer
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
