did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
