In the future we'll all be gay
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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