Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
