My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
