Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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