she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Sober January is a disaster.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
