Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
