I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
This is my gift to your gina
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
