So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
