At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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