i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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